@HeritageJam 2015 diary, 1: Frustration

I woke up this morning with the day planned out in my head.

I was doing to listen to everything I could find by a composer I hardly knew on Apple Music, while digging out a bunch of index cards and a marker pen. I was going to, in script-writing terms, “break” my story. I had a ghost of a graph in my head, and very specific ideas about a running time (45 minutes max, if you are interested). I had all sorts of story elements buzzing around too: a moment of disorientation as with waking from (or falling into) a dream; a conversation with a “genius loci”; a revelation which may have been a moment of self-realization (“am I … a slave?”); too many more to list. But I had only the vaguest idea which ideas I should use, and what order they should do in.

I knew there WAS an order, or that one would become apparent, because order is what turns events into kernels and facts into narrative. I wasn’t even sure how many narratives I’d find, but I wasn’t worried about that. I could discard or include as many as I wanted. What I needed to do was move events around on my dining room table (or the floor) and see what emerged. Maybe take some photos, or maybe if things went really well, transcribe everything into Scapple.

That’s was the plan. It didn’t work out. Moments before I got an email from my prospective teammate saying what a great idea it was, I got an email from the stakeholders I really need approval from, saying that approval wasn’t forthcoming.

So, I need another idea, and I’ve been thinking what that might be. Yesterday afternoon, after the theme was announced, I was bouncing off the walls. The theme was almost too good  – there were too many possibilities. I was buzzing with them – I couldn’t sit down. I had to find things to do, like washing up, or bringing the washing in, to calm my brain down. When the idea finally came, it seemed so obvious, so perfect, I couldn’t quite work out why I hadn’t thought of it first.

But this morning has been very different. The energy has been sucked out. Everything I think of, every other idea I had yesterday, comes up wanting against what I really want to do, but can’t. Yesterday afternoon was full of possibilities, this morning has been full of barriers.

So I need to get out. Get some fresh air, some inspiration. One of the ideas I had this morning and haven’t fully rejected, is trying to something based around Basing House. The thing is, I’ve never been there. Its one of those places that so local I never visit it, because I always could next week. So this is just the impetus I need to actually go and check it out, see if it inspires me…

Guess what?

Closed on Fridays.

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